It’s been a while since I’ve done a good old Google images search. This time, I put in Worst Book Covers, but I think this has also shown worst book titles. Here’s the first page of the search.1. The Rifleman. There’s a child holding a log of wood in a particularly suggestive location in front of a cowboy. That’s creepy.
2.Satan Burger. It’s a bum. Kinda crouched over a plate. I don’t want to look too closely.
3. Moment of Truth. I wasn’t sure why this came up until I read the post it was attached to that asks what she is doing with her hand…
4. The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories. Lesbian horses?
5. Song of Albion. There’s a ghost man leaking out of the other man’s chest. Weird.
6. Cooking with Pooh. It doesn’t say Cooking with Poo. But that’s what people are reading.
7. Invisible Dick. Enough said.
8. Tarzan. He appears to be seducing the little monkey.
9. How to Avoid Huge Ships. Second Edition.
10. Games You Can Play with your Pussy. Hilarity going back to the ‘Are You Being Served?’ days.
11. The Worst Book I Ever Read. There’s a little snake/vine creature spitting in the lady’s face.
12. Zombie Raccoons and Killer Bunnies.
13. The Beginner’s Guide to Sex in the Afterlife. Some titles really need no comment.
14. Fellow Fags.
15. Scouts in bondage. At least, one of them is in a river.
16. A random picture of Robocop. Should be one in every search.
17. The Best Dad is a Good Lover. Oh dear.
18. It’s a man and a tractor. Awesome.
19. Mikhail Gorbachev is Gog and Magog. The Biblical Antichrist. Interestingly (I reckon) I was in Melbourne’s Royal Arcade and saw the statues of Gog and Magog. They’re cool.
20. What’s Your Poo Telling You? Shit jokes, I reckon.
21. I Knocked Up Satan’s Daughter.
22. Eat the Document. With a picture of the body of a woman with erect nipples wearing an ugly jumper and jeans combo. Black and white, no idea why.
23. If ‘Fancy Coffins’ doesn’t get you, read the small print. ‘To Make Yourself.’ Yup, homemade coffins.
24. Good-bye, Testicles. I want to read this one. The dog looks really sad to be losing his testicles.
25. The Long Journey of Mister Poop. Bet it’s crap.
26. Forth on the Atari. Learn by using. I think Forth must be a computer game. I love that the word ‘Forth’ is carved from rock and being held up by a he-man type character. Without the cool blond bob, that is.
27. Sir Dominic Flandry. What a great name for a book. Not sure about the weird nakedness of the woman behind the man with the sword. Is she nude? Maybe. Maybe not. No-one can tell.
28. Ugly Book Cover Love. It’s not so ugly.
29. Are Women Human? I’d take a stab in the dark and say yes.
There were heaps of good covers on the second page, but my favourite by far is this one:
It’s the question we’ve all been asking ourselves for aeons. The lesson to be learned from all of this? Sometimes, you should judge a book by the cover.