So, John McClane (Bruce Willis) gets sent to pick up a hacker for the FBI just as the world starts to fall apart. But the hacker is Matt Farrell(Justin Long) and he is charming but also knows a whole heap of stuff, and it comes down to them saving the world. And McClane’s daughter, Lucy(Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Even if it means throwing police cruisers at helicopters.
I’ll get it out of the way. Women in this film. Again, we have the sexy woman who is actually just an evil henchman. So much more could have been done with her character. And then there is the daughter. At least she had some of her mum’s personality, so there was almost hope. But there was some really nasty misogynistic language in the film that I found quite unnecessary and horrible. Yes, punch the evil chick in the face. But do you need to call her so many horrible things before you do it? You wouldn’t have if she were a bloke.
What this really lacked from the previous films for me was the realism and the humour. By realism, obviously, Die Hard is not some kind of realist drama. But the level of ridiculousness – in the three previous, I could buy it. Die Hard 4.0? Nup. Plus the good humour has gone, and even having a ‘kooky geek’ character wasn’t enough.
Anna (Christina Ricci) dies in a car crash, but at the funeral home, she awakens. There she is told that she is dead by undertaker Eliot(Liam Neeson) who has the gift of speaking to the deceased and helping usher them through to the other world. Or does he? She believes she is still alive. And so does her boyfriend, Paul (Justin Long). And he is trying to get to her before it is too late.
Ooh, boy, this is a stinker. A massive, massive huge stinker. Christina Ricci is at her gothic best, make-up wise. And her nudity for almost the entire film was logical, but still. Possibly seeing this close soon after Tusk made everything Justin Long did give me flashbacks.
In 2013, the below ad appeared on Gumtree in the UK:
Hello, I am looking for a lodger in my house. I have had a long and interesting life and have now chosen Brighton as a location for my retirement. Among the many things I have done in my life is to spend three years alone on St. Lawrence Island. These were perhaps the most intense and fascinating years of my life, and I was kept in companionship with a walrus whom I named Gregory. Never have I had such a fulfilling friendship with anyone, human or otherwise, and upon leaving the island I was heartbroken for months. I now find myself in a large house over looking Queens Park and am keen to get a lodger. This is a position I am prepared to offer for free (eg: no rent payable) on the fulfillment of some conditions. I have, over the last few months, been constructing a realistic walrus costume, which should fit most people of average proportions, and allow for full and easy movement in character. To take on the position as my lodger you must be prepared to wear the walrus suit for approximately two hours each day (in practice, this is not two hours every day – I merely state it here so you are able to have a clear idea of the workload). Whilst in the walrus costume you must be a walrus – there must be no speaking in a human voice, and any communication must entail making utterances in the voice of a walrus – I believe there aer (SIC) recordings available on the web – to me, the voice is the most natural thing I have ever heard. Other duties will involve catching and eating the fish and crabs that I will occasionally throw to you whilst you are being the walrus. With the exception of this, you will be free to do whatever you choose, and will have a spacious double room, complete run of the house (with the exception of my bedroom and my workshop), and use of all facilities within. I am a considerate person to share a house with, and other than playing the accordion my tastes are easy to accomodate (SIC).
Due to the nature of this position I will need to audition all applicants before agreeing to take the chosen candidate on as a lodger. Please contact me if you have any questions.
It was a hoax, but filmmaker Kevin Smith became obsessed with the idea, and from it was born Tusk. And oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.
So, to Tusk. There are a couple of podcasters, Wallace (Justin Long) and Teddy (Haley Joel Osment – yes, that Haley Joel Osment) who have hit the big time with their show “The Not-See Party” where they play online videos and mock them. After one episode on the Kill Bill Kid (think the kid playing with his light sabre, that very early viral video, but with more Tarantino results), the obnoxious Wallace flies to Canada to interview him, but finds that the kid has committed suicide. Pissed off, Wallace kills time in a bar hoping to find a new story, and it is there that he stumbles across the advertisement in the bathroom. He arranges to meet the man, Howard Howe (Michael Parks) and… then falls off the face of the earth. Neither his girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez) or Teddy can reach him, and enlist the assistance of Guy Lapointe (Johnny Depp performing some of his absurdist best).
I don’t want to give any more away, but I will say it is a comedy horror. There are certainly some things that cannot be unseen, and the end? I had a couple of good friends request that I review this, possibly in the hope that I may be able to clarify that end or… hmm, I’m not sure. Did I like it? Not exactly. I didn’t hate it, for sure. I certainly laughed out loud a few times. I think what it has given me is the gift of reigniting my interest in Kevin Smith films. And I’m vaguely interested in creating my own hoax Gumtree ad…
Geez, isn’t Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn) a top bloke? He runs a gym for a bunch of losers and doesn’t even charge them, has no ambition and just lives for, I don’t really know. Fun? He has sex with ladies, but other than that, he doesn’t seem to have any interest in anything ever. Then there is White Goodman (Ben Stiller), a man so stupid he cannot spell his own name, who was incredibly obese and disgusting (eating food semi naked and letting it drip all over his fat chest and belly), but who lost weight and became obsessed with looking good and bullying others into looking good at his gym. Wow, what a prick, having drive to succeed and achieve. So then, as revenge on Peter for having sex with a couple of White’s sexy trainers, White takes out a mortgage on Peter’s gym (is that legal?) and when Peter is going to default, the only possibility is to raise money, and they only way they can do that is a dodge ball contest. Of course.
I didn’t realise until I started writing the above quite how much I disliked the premise for this film. I’ve mentioned before that I am often disappointed by Vince Vaughn, and he’s fine in this, just quite boring. Not offensive, just boring. Ben Stiller is a bit the same for me – I can absolutely hate him in some things, and love him in others. This is a hate for me – there was not enough comedy in his White Goodman, he was just nasty and self-obsessed and pretty crap.
Having said all that, I really liked the dodge ball tournament side of things – ridiculous, and with wonderful commentary from the ever fabulous Gary Cole and Jason Bateman. It is almost worth watching just for the commentary. Not quite, but almost.
Surely it is hardly surprising that a film based on a self-help book is not that great. That much didn’t surprise me. I didn’t really expect it to be quite as misogynistic as it was. The women are awful to each other. The men are awful to the women. The women are awful to the men. Actually, maybe it’s not misogyny as such. Maybe it is just a bunch of horrible, horrible people.
Gigi (Ginnie Goodwin) is single and desperate, but keeps getting let down by men. She ends up adopting bartender Alex (Justin Long) as her go-to man for revealing the secrets of men – what they really mean when they say and do various things. Meantime, her colleague Beth (Jennifer Aniston) breaks up with her long-term partner Neil (Ben Affleck) because he will not marry her. Then wannabe singer Anna (Scarlett Johansson) is pursuing married man Ben (Bradley Cooper) at the advice of her best friend, Mary (Drew Barrymoore).
ireckonthat 