Die Hard 4.0 (2007) Film Review

Live Free or Die Hard. Nick off, mate.

So, John McClane (Bruce Willis) gets sent to pick up a hacker for the FBI just as the world starts to fall apart. But the hacker is Matt Farrell(Justin Long) and he is charming but also knows a whole heap of stuff, and it comes down to them saving the world. And McClane’s daughter, Lucy(Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Even if it means throwing police cruisers at helicopters.

I’ll get it out of the way. Women in this film. Again, we have the sexy woman who is actually just an evil henchman. So much more could have been done with her character. And then there is the daughter. At least she had some of her mum’s personality, so there was almost hope. But there was some really nasty misogynistic language in the film that I found quite unnecessary and horrible. Yes, punch the evil chick in the face. But do you need to call her so many horrible things before you do it? You wouldn’t have if she were a bloke.

What this really lacked from the previous films for me was the realism and the humour. By realism, obviously, Die Hard is not some kind of realist drama. But the level of ridiculousness – in the three previous, I could buy it. Die Hard 4.0? Nup. Plus the good humour has gone, and even having a ‘kooky geek’ character wasn’t enough.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012) Film Review

I think we all know who Abraham Lincoln is, yes? One of the most famous presidents of the United States of America? Well, did you know that he was also a vampire hunter? This historically accurate drama shows how Lincoln came across the existence of vampires but was taught to kill them using a variety of techniques. But as his life continues, he discovers that his life can be more valuable in politics and the pursuit of freedom of slaves.

Ok, clearly not a historical document. But whoever came up with the hilarious idea of combining one of the great historical figures with vampires is a genius in my mind. This could have been a schlock horror disaster like Sharknado but someone actually bothered to write a script – and something fairly decent. Plus there is an awesome scene with an old-school train and a whole heap of fire – on par, I’d say, with the cool old train sequence from Back to the Future 3.

If the sight of this title makes you angry, don’t watch it. It’s exactly what it says on the box. And good.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010) Film Review

Scott Pilgrim is a 22-year-old Canadian guy who plays bass in a band called Sex Bob-omb, is dating a Chinese high school student called Knives Chau and is looking for success. Then he meets Ramona Flowers, a cool American girl. To be with her, he needs to defeat her seven evil exes and sort out his own life.

It’s awesome. It’s fast paced and quite absurd, cutting between scenes mid-sentence. The special effects are amazing – it’s got everything. Stylised violence, Bollywood dancing, and a giant electric gorilla fighting a giant electric two-headed dragon. Way cool.

Plus a fabulous cast – Michael Cera, Kieren Culkan, Jason Schwartzman and a whole head of others whose names are not familiar but who are fabulous in lots of things – like Arrested Development and Parks and Recreation.

I kind of feel that, at my age, I should be too mature for a film like this. But I never will be so Edgar Wright, keep bringing it. Please.